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Monday, February 28, 2011

93 Line Up

Folks lined up, and Jerry made hisseff a shit load of money and new permanent customers. Well, continual customers. No one ever seemed to be able to continue dealing or buying such a ware forever. The end would come nigh before very long, you see.

He was quite good at networking, even if he was a freaky giant clown. One thing about his high giggle, it became less odd the more you heard it. Perhaps it was the powder, or maybe it was that he really seemed to enjoy the moment, each moment, whatever he was feeling, even rage, but I think mostly it was that he held no deceit.

What you saw was what you got. A powerful, scary, huge, giggly baby that got pissed off in a split second, who then could turn on a dime and be as sweet as a Riesling. This is a character trait that many do not have, for whatever reason, but it can be endearing if you appreciate knowing where you honestly stand with someone.

We flew.

= = = = = = = = = = = = = = =

Sean wore his perma-grin and Bryan was grinding his teeth. Joey flashed his dance moves and his wicked smile. The ladies loved him, as always. They made a Joey sandwich with many ingredients of female condiment.

I wanted to ask Tommy Hewitt about Katheena. He had been trying to tell me something important about her, and now it seemed like the best time to chat. That was the major effect of powder. Everything you thought and felt was of the utmost importance and you needed to let folks know these things. Thing is, so did everyone else.

The immediate vicinity of the cock-punch dining room table became a din of conversation of folks telling each other how good they felt and what mattered to them the most in life and that hey you know what I friggin love you man.

The living room was no better for a good talk, nor was the outside, where the ska band played their music at loud decibels. So, I tugged Tommy along to the secret wine stash.

Yup. He was the first besides me and Bryan to learn about its existence. He would not be the last, unfortunately.

Or, perhaps it was fortunate that the wine got drunken up before the house burned to the ground, which would have left all the wine soaking into the ground from heat-burst bottles, untasted.

Yet, maybe it was a contributing factor to its own demise, and therefore, the house might still stand to this day, if everyone there did not get so intoxicated from those lovely vintages.



“Tommy, I want to know what you were trying to tell me about Katheena earlier, before we sat at the table with Jerry. This is a good place to talk, but I gotta warn ya, here is a sight to behold. Check this shit out.”

At the bottom of the old, iron-hard fig wood stairs, we stood before the door to the wine tomb. I unlatched the wrought-iron hardware of the solid wooden door and we entered. I flicked on the light switch and watched Tommy’s eyes grow huge.

He whistled. “What… The… Fuck…”

I let him drink in the view for a bit.

Of course, he had to go and check out labels.

“Manj Moi Shyen, 1920. This is a rare bitch.” He moved slowly on. “Footwa Voo, 1776. Wow.”

I had to redirect his attention. “Tommy, you went steady with Katheena, huh?”

Tommy nodded while continuing on. “Here’s an old bottle of German Sheetzen Frau Bluherr. Who the hell bought all of these?”

I sighed. “Tellesco’s parents, evidently. Now about Katheena…”

Tommy turned to me with a different bottle in his hand. “I’ve heard about this one. This was in the newspapers a month ago, remember? It sold at auction for almost eighteen hundred dollars for the case. There is only one of them here. What the hell is going on?”

Yes, I guess it was a bad idea to let this cat into the wine lair. Instead of finding a quiet place to talk about Katheena, I had shown him a great treasure. And now I had to kill him.

I kid you. But that might have kept things from happening as they did.

Tommy held it to his chest. “There are wines here that no one knows still exist in the world. May we partake of this one?”

Why did everyone at this fucking party know about wines as much as they did, and I did not? Was everyone a closeted oeneophile for chissakes?

I shrugged. “Why the hell not. But we don’t have cups to drink it in.”

Tommy grinned. “There are some up in the stairwell, in some cases hanging on the wall.”

I smiled. “I’ll grab a couple. Then you have to tell me about Katheena. Promise me.”

He nodded solemnly. “Over this bottle of 1903 Sauternes from Château d'Yquem, I promise.”

Well, good.

He sat on a couple of stacked crates and motioned for me to sit across from him on some others. These were unopened. Who knew what unknown treasures awaited inside?

I wonder if anyone ever found out, and if so, did they appreciate them as much as they deserved?

He began his tale about Katheena while uncorking the bottle with one of the corkscrews that hung from the stairwell walls. He let it breathe as he spoke in muted tones, and it was evident that he felt strong emotion about his subject.

Then he poured some of this vintage into the wine glasses.

The wine tasted like apple juice poured through a snake's piss bladder. I grimaced. Tommy chuckled. “I think the powder drain is messing with the flavor.”

I would have to agree.

This is what he told me.

= = = = = = = = = = = = = = = =

“When I first saw Katheena, it felt like someone had gut punched me. I know that she is quite attractive and all, but there was something beyond that for me. It was the way that she held herself. She seemed to be at once both highly aware of her surroundings, and yet strangely unconcerned.

“It was a bluff, you know. Katheena is very careful. She selects her prey according to her own volition, and then she executes her well-crafted plan. Nothing is by accident with her.”

Tommy paused and tasted more of the old wine. I couldn’t stomach any more of it, but my ears were thirsty for more of what he had to tell me about Katheena.

He went on.

“That there is the rub. Katheena knows what she is doing. It’s been said that a true gentleman never unintentionally hurts the object of his affection. There is some sense in what that means. And it pertains to her, here.”

I really did not know what the hell he was saying, but it seemed to matter to him a lot. I guess I wanted to know something else, something that would matter to me.

Me me me. Immature, no?

“I wanted to tell you something about her that I found out. I told Joey, and swore him to secrecy, and now I must ask you to swear to secrecy as well, for the information you are about to hear. Will you do this?”

What the hell? Katheena was hot and all, but maybe I didn’t give a shit about this weird dude’s pact. Then again, since I didn’t give a damn, why the hell not “swear to secrecy” and all that crap?

So I did.

He told me, “Katheena is a lesbian.”

Well, I can tell you mista, you could hear a pin drop in that wine tomb. Of course, you could hear a pin drop in there any time you wanted to, but this news left my jaw hanging.

I sure could use a drink at that moment, so I chugged the wine in my glass. Tommy nodded.

I said, “What the hell? How do you know this?”

He sipped his own wine. “They are referred to as lipstick lesbians. These women are the ultra of their gender. They are the Mesomorphs of their kind.”

“Mezzo-lesbo?” It was beyond comprehension, this whole discussion.

Tommy chuckled and sipped his wine. “Let’s put it this way. She is a bisexual, but she prefers women.”

“How do you know this?” I held out my wine glass.

Tommy poured and said, “I had a three way with her, a ménage-a-trois. It was pretty evident. I felt like the third wheel on a Bi-cycle.”

I chugged my wine. It did not help.


Upstairs, the ska band finished their last song. I flicked the light switch off and closed the door to the tomb that would be re-opened on the third day of this party, when the bones of Tommy Hewitt were found in the ashes by the fire marshal detective.

There was no door anymore at that time, just a pile of caved-in burnt house. This was where Tommy had hid himself when the gangs started shooting at each other, you see. He had become trapped there, poor soul, when they set the house on fire.


I followed Tommy up and we closed the wall panel behind us to go look for the others. Jerry held court at the cock-punch table, and many fresh faces were jockeying in the queue with ones who were fiending for more of his powdery wares. But my brothers were not there.

Outside, they were helping the punk band to get set up. Tommy and I followed suit, but I could not take my mind off of Katheena.

Tommy had rocked my little world.


I didn’t know that we had some of these U.S. Presidents? Disney World’s Hall of Prezzes. The Jefferies… hehehe

So now, some want to prevent foreign visitors to our USA from coming here while pregnant and giving birth. This makes their kid a USA citizen. That’s the way it’s always been. Why change it? Ya think?

Antidote, dogs and robots will never get along. Dogs will save us. Yay, dogs.

Six reasons hot chicks fail on dating sites.

I wish I could fly. Without skis. But, 800 feet of air is quite excellent.

How to make your Las Vegas stay longer? Slow down time. Dude with a Phantom Flex vid cam.

This is how the current toon memes will look in 2030.

How to bring a democracy to war. From some old dude in Germany. Fucker.

God Help You.

God Help Us All.

--willies out.

OK, one more for ya.

Kitty want food dammit. Good for 30 seconds, then gets old...


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