Believe in something.
Believe in anything.
It will help you.
There is an Easter egg for you somewhere in the following text. Look for it.
ZID.
What in thee hell was it, and what did it do?
Press play, and let me explain.
Fat Jerry had come through for us, on our latest journey into exploring the grey area between sanity and endangerment. He seemed to know everyone who could possibly be a source of trouble in Fuckno, Californication, back in the late 80's.
Yet, this awful asshole who put the rest of us to shame with his complete disregard for those whom he did not consider to be his friend, well, this guy did not want to do ZID.
He was a true believer in the concept of Anarchy, which is an ironic statement to the max. Anarchy is without belief in anything, you see.
Perhaps he did not and never would enjoy ZID, simply because the use of this material affords one the opportunity to temporarily explore the mental condition known as "Schizophrenia," which has nothing to do with "Multiple Personality Disorder," although you will be forgiven if you have gotten them mixed up before.
But not any more.
You see, I'd always suspected that the root cause of Fat Jerry's antisocial behavior was due to brain chemical imbalance, and ZID might feel too much like home for him. A home that was very disturbing.
So,
We each ripped off a small square from a perforated yellow sheet of cotton paper that had tiny dragon designs in each square, marked in purple ink. There were 100 of these little squares in the sheet, and we'd bought it for a hundred bucks back over two decades ago. We placed this sheet back into the aluminum foil in which it had come, and placed it into the freezer.
That is what we were told to do, to halt its decay into strychnine.
We two punks (me and Bryan) and two huge high school football players (Sean and Tellesco) sat around and chatted as we kept the paper under our tongues, also per instructions. Fat Jerry had gotten the fuck out of there.
Nothing happened. We got bored. Tellesco wanted to go grab a Big Gulp, and we thought maybe we could pimp some beer.
So we took off. Sean drove. I rode in the alpha male seat (shotgun) since I would never let Tellesco rise up in the ranks, nor his place in the pack. The driver is not alpha, he is Chauffeur.
But Sean always hungered for control of everything. And a true leader always maximizes the strengths of those whom he leads. No ego involved for a leader. Use the ego of those below to guide and instruct them. And if they trust you to be a good and decent leader, they will do amazing things for you.
A decent leader will descend you, but bring you back up to fruition.
That was me.
You will see.
Sean learned how to drive while on ZID this night, and here is how he did it.
++++++++++++++++++++
While we were in the convenience store, things began to seem strange, in the stark bluish-white light that shone down with increasing intensity from over head. Packages of potato chips began to appear to be funny to look at.
Each of us started to giggle a bit, in our separate isles, as we wandered around aimlessly, forgetting why we had even come in to this place.
Apu sat behind his counter, reading a paper, but I realized that he kept an eye on us over the international news. Then he stood up.
"OK, guys, what you doin?"
We all froze, becoming suddenly quite self-aware. Apu's face rearranged itself for a moment, and I got a handle on the situation.
"Ummm, nothing," I croaked, and realized that my mouth and throat were quite dry. There was an odd, metallic flavor on my tongue.
My tongue felt all fat and weird in my mouth. I swallowed.
"We done here, guys?"
To my ears, my own words echoed like this: "Weeeee D-D-D-DONE-DON-DON-ON- HHHHHHERERERERERERE GUYS-SH-SH-SH-SH-"
And those assholes began to laugh. Loudly.
Apu crept closer to the phone nearby. I spoke up again.
"Tellllllllllesesesesescocococococo, get your ass up herererere and ppppppay for your BIg Big Big gulpppppp" is what it sounded like I said next.
Tellesco came to the front as the others gathered around, and fucking Tellesco handed Apu a ten spot and told him to keep the change.
Dude could not count anymore.
Neither could any of us.
We got the fuck out of there.
We sat in the Jeep, and Sean forgot how to start it.
**********************
++++++++++++++++++
Here are some links for you.
Merton's Piano Improv. Eeentersting.
Oh. Forgot about dumbasses. Sorry.
Sometimes, what you think is the best thing to happen to you may turn out to be your worst enemy. Lotto Winners in Britland.
I like irony. I get it in beets and spinach (sauteed with garlic, butter and parmesian cheese) and I lift this thing quite often. Here's a good site for ironic minded folks. All pics.
Some folks might like a little story about fluff. Navel fluff. Collected in jars.
Antidote: More pics. Jesus was kinda cool, if you think about it.
The cat seems to like the paper bag on his head.
Weird Al likes grammar, too. Am I this much of a nerd? Gawd, no wonder my wife eschews my company in public...
Well, there you go.
Happy Easter to you, Dear willies Enjoyer, and may you have a good day.
Now go grab some sunshine.
---willies out
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