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Razorblade, by The Knux.
The fat punk rocker pulled himself out of the sleek hearse with one meaty hand on the edge of the long door. He closed his eyes and smiled big into the rain lashing down with thundering applause.
His smile held a thousand fangs.
He howled.
Then he giggled. He was looking at the headlights all pointing off into various directions. Some stared into the sky. Those looked like the bright light from the top of the Luxor, the pyramid of Las Vegas, which can be seen from space.
The rain outlined their beams of photons jetting off relentlessly at the speed of light, into the stars above. But these were refracted and they never made it.
Other headlights were cross-eyed. Another one was a lone headlight, staring glumly into the desert mud of Fuckno.
He really wanted to go to the other headlights to have some of his own brand of fun, but he had eyes for only the ’57. He restrained himself from pleasure to take care of business.
He slogged through the desert mud in his boots with the chrome shin guards, and when he got to the ’57, he grabbed on the door handle, clicked the button, and yarded on it.
The handle busted out in his hand. He stopped grinning and looked down into his palm. He pocketed the chrome handle and looked back at the car.
Crows collect shiny things along the highway. You thought it was all road kill. Some things are talisman. They become talisman when they mark a certain occasion, or an event in time. They record our human condition, when the occasion holds a strong emotion in a life-changing event. A chrome door handle, a broken screw from the latch-lock of a missing horse stable, or even a…
…I apologize to you for getting off track here.
Fat Jerry saw the wrinkle in the door where it met the front fender. This door was wedded to the rest of the car, all made from woodstove metal. He bent and peered in and saw a dark shape leaned over the passenger seat.
He leaned in and poked its shoulder. “Hey! Wake up!”
No response.
“Hey! WAKE THE FUCK UP!”
Nothing.
In any other case, he would have simply grabbed on the lump and yanked it out of the car and then proceeded to bust its bones, but he restrained himself. He reached into his leather jacket and brought out a lighter, and flicked its shiny top open.
He spun its wheel, and there was light.
He shined it around the face and noted a large, bleeding welt on the forehead. But no blood came from the nose, lips, eyelids or ear. This was a good sign.
He cast the wan light about the rest of the figure and didn’t see anything poking or jutting out, covered in meat or blood, and that was good too. He had seen the movie “The Other Side Of The Mountain, so he knew about the danger of moving an injured person and by doing so causing them to become paralyzed for life.
But that was where his medical expertise ended.
What the hell was he going to do?
He thought about the other car that got away, and wondered how long it would be before some other folks, angry people, would be showing up.
He knew that he had to go and collect another lump, in another car, and wondered if that one was in need of more immediate attention.
This was all knew data, new ground for him to cover.
Why the hell did he even care?
One For The Road, by Leslie West, with Slash. Get ready to have your head kicked in. Best wishes for good health Mr. West.
Tellesco smiled at the watery figure in the seat beside him as he slowed the car to a crawl. The desert looked much different on such a dark and stormy night, even though he had traversed this crumbly old lane many times before.
The shade of the beautiful girl pointed off to his left.
Tellesco looked out, and he didn’t see anything, but he nodded anyway. He pulled over to the side of the road and pointed the car into the direction she had indicated. He jumped out to open the door for his date, but she was gone.
His bottom lip quivered, but then he felt her tug on his other arm, to lead him off to his Jeep.
He smiled again.
Jeez.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - -
It wasn’t all that much further down the road to drive. The car’s roof was all smashed in, and it laid just beyond another one which was upside down, with its headlamps all cross-eyed. He resisted the strong urge to go off to that one and have some bone-snapping fun.
Instead, he went to this one’s passenger side, which was less dented-in, and he looked inside.
This car’s single headlamp did not offer much by way of light in the cloud of splashing rain, so he brought out the lighter again.
He bent inside, flicked it open, and was just about to ignite it when his chubby nose caught the scent of gasoline fumes.
Well, ok then. Instead of flicking it anyway as he done before to an unlucky soul, he pocketed his light in his leather and dried his rained-drenched hands on the lump’s clothing. He closed his eyes and felt around for broken bones.
Broken bones were his favorite, but all he felt was broken glass.
Then he felt the top of the lump’s head. It was sticky wet, not wet from the rain entering through the busted out windshield.
This lump needed some attention.
The skin under his leather creeped.
Someone was coming. He straightened out of the vehicle. He began to smile again. He couldn’t help himself.
= = = = = = = = = = = = =
“Sean! What the fuck dude?”
“Willie Boy! Where is Tellesco?”
“Last I seen him, he was with you. You lost him?”
“No! I mean, …I wouldn’t do that! I mean… Wait, he was facing the other way.”
“The other way from what?”
“From me. From me heading back to you. I was driving back to you to save you.”
“Sean, you trying to save me?”
“I mean, help you . Help you and Joey out. Where is Joey?”
“Joey? He is, ah… Hey, Joey is driving away with Katheena!”
“Katheena? He’s with Katheena? Dayam dude, what else did I miss?”
“Shit. It’s coming back to me. Katheena died!”
“Uh, wha?! Willie Boy, you need to start at the beginning!”
“I wish I knew. Where the fuck are we anyway?”
There was nothing.
Nothing at all.
God Help You.
God Help Us All.
---willies out.
.
I publish these tales here on this site every weekend as mental escape. Enjoy them, but do not steal them. If you do, I will come to your window while you are sleeping, my friend.
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