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Saturday, December 17, 2016

Reboot and Emeralda

Another year, how about that?

The reason that I have not written anything here for an entire year that I have refused to write the next part of the tale that it wants.  yes, it wants me to write the next particular series of events in a specific way, and I have not been able to bring myself to do it.

It is the worst thing, to me.  I find it abhorrent.  It is so callous, It comes across as hack.  But it is not that.  It is the idea that once written, then I will know that I am capable of writing something so atrocious.  I keep placing the blame on the story, or the characters, but they come from me.

I am the one who caused them to occur, and it's from me that they find themselves in their situations, and I tend to care for them, odd as that sounds.  And then, one of them is quite captivating, and she takes ahold and runs off into her own adventure, her own perspective of the tale.

Emeralda is the one who will do something quite vile, if the tale is to proceed.  After two and a half years, it now appears that if I am to finish this tale, then it is up to her to open the door to the next part.  I've acquiesced to her before, and it worked.   The tale flowed again.  And then this time, I was the bottleneck, again.

This is not about killing your darlings.  This is about eating your own baby in order to save its soul.

Andd that is the worst thing that I will have to write.

Rrrrrrrgh.   Blecch.